Ever since River died I’ve been holding on to the things he loved most in his internet life. I’ve visited his blog weekly. I’ve thought about starting a character named after his character in Wow. I’ve thought of all kinds of ways to keep his memory alive. I don’t think he would appreciated it.
A couple weeks ago a co-worker died at work. He was as young as River and it was just as unexpected. As the days went on we told stories about him and there was a small memorial placed where he sat. Not being a big friend of the guy, I thought the memorial was a bit overkill and people needed to let go. Then, I thought about River and how I’ve been acting. I’m no better.
Recently, I thought about going back to WoW, actually I am going back to WoW because it won the poll. I thought it would be really cool to start a character in memory of River. No better than the silly memorial they have at work. Why would I play a game, River thought was fun for almost 10 years of his life just to ruin it by taking the fun out of the game? If I made a character named River I would have to look at the name every day I logged in and think about him being dead. I don’t think River would like that. I need to play WoW for me and have the fun I want to. If I want to remember River properly, it should be by having fun. He is already immortalized in WoW by all the people he touched over a decade and all the people he pissed off. To me, that sounds a lot better. I truly can’t be the dick he was and love WoW as much as he did. I will play the game for me so I can have my own memories. There is no need for a memorial in his name.
That brings me to WoW and why I’m playing again. The poll showed WoW and Archeage tied in the end. I choose WoW because it is cheaper to get into and I know my time will be split between WoW, DCUO, and Warframe. Come September, I will be juggling Destiny. I’m not playing Wow because several of my other friends started playing again or because a new expansion is coming out; I’m playing it because it has always been a relaxing game to me. Every time I find myself floundering between MMOs, WoW is there to scratch the itch I’ve been having.
That doesn’t mean I’m done with other MMOs. I want to go back to Wildstar at some point, but right now I don’t have the “want to” feeling. I want to play DCUO and WoW right now. I thought I wanted to play FFXIV, but every time I want to play that game I remember how much I’d rather play WoW instead. Why play it if it’s just going to make me want to play WoW? Might as well get right to the roots and start there to watch my want grow. Of course sooner or later my want will die off and I’ll pollinate elsewhere.
The 10th Anniversary to WoW is coming and I’ve always said I want to be there for it because of the memories I have with the game. They are my memories and I wouldn’t want somebody posing as me to try to remember me in their own way. I would appreciate the thought, but play your own fucking game and have your own damn fun! This is your life enjoy it while you have it, because tomorrow you might not.
River would appreciate that more!