Thursday, February 27, 2014

The Elder Scrolls Online is Worse than SWTOR

(Disclaimer: I've played TESO a lot. When I say a lot I mean A LOT! What that means is, I know what I'm talking about. My ideas and opinions are ironclad. In less than a month you'll know what I'm talking about, so don't be sad when you're disappointed. I told ya so!)


The second you log into the game you have to create a character. This annoyed me right away. I think it's a stupid idea to have people create characters in this game. It goes against everything that is Elder Scrolls. The game is supposed to be based on the REAL Elder Scrolls world and if it is real all characters should be born. You should start as a baby and get no choice what you look like. Your parents didn't care they were too ugly to have children. They didn't buy some slide rule to touch up your nasty face. This is real and starting out by having choice is dumb.

I spent a good amount of time trying not to get too pissed off about all the options. It was way more than SWTOR and frankly, that game failed because of the piss poor character creation. Too many things to adjust makes people think they are living in some kind of fantasy world. Games like these should be cut and dry with their characters.


This is as far as I got in this horrible game. I spent 3 days of beta in a prison room banging a cup against a dead body while some scary ass ghost guarding the door. I can't believe this game is just 1 room and it cost $60 plus $15 a month. I understand character creation is going to take most players 9 months just to conceive a baby, but after that this game has no content. I see this going free to play faster than World of Warcraft did.

There isn't much else to say about the game play, but it lacks depth and content. Maybe later they'll patch in a way to get out of that room.


I've done a lot of research on this game and I've watched tons of videos. Every time I see one it gets my blood boiling because I know it's all a lie. This game doesn't have combat at all. The only other things you could possibly kill are already dead in your cell. I clicked through all the menus and couldn't find anything to kill in them. I did see a menu for bugs, but when I hit it, it pulled up a bunch of words I didn't understand. Zenimax might want to add in some combat before it releases.


HORRIBLE! I was running the game on a Duo core with 2mb ram and an Nvidia 1800 TI. The game was a slide show and full of glitch in pixels. I know this is beta, but if I can't even move and my computer keeps blue screening every 5 seconds, the game is going to fail hard.

Just last week I played Fallout on max settings with my computer and I didn't have a lick of problems. Of course, that was made by Interplay and not that horrible company that took over the Fallout franchise. It's sad when great companies get bullied into selling their amazing franchises and they have to watch it disintegrate right before their eyes. Just like when Blizzard sold Diablo to EA.


There wasn't one.


None at launch.


RIDICULOUS! They expect people to pay $60 for a digital download! You don't even get a box or a disk. I remember when I got 8 disks, cloth map, a mouse pad, directions, and stickers for $40. They don't give you anything anymore. You have to surf the Internet for a code then pay money to add that code just to play the game. Not only that, they're charging $15 a month to play the game. Nobody does that. Who do they think is going to play a game with a monthly fee? Surely, not millions of people.

SWTOR did their fans right by going totally free to play. Granted I've never played SWTOR because it's based on a fictional setting, but none the less, it was a great game you can play for free without restrictions whatsoever. Elder Scrolls Online needs to do that or they will fail. A business can only thrive on giving players everything for free and if they want to donate through Western Union, they can. I know this emu has been beaten, but games shouldn't charge people to make money. It's just bad business.


Sadly, This is purely a single player game. There is nothing to do in a group. I didn't group because at level 1 thru 1 you can't group. I'm sure if the game had levels beyond 1, it would have grouping I wouldn't do. It's just easier to not group and prove the point it is a single player game.

Most of my life people don't speak to me. A game like this just proves my point I'm not hated, I just prefer to be alone and sad. I'm sure more people feel this way, but I don't care to talk to them. I'm never proven wrong because I never try to discover new things. My life is sad and I want to cry. I play video games to get away from my troubles. I'm eating hotdogs 2 at a time right now, but nobody watches me on Webcam. I could fit 3 if you'd watch me.

This is purely a single player game and it's going to fail. SWTOR name inserted here. I don't know anybody that is going to play this game, let alone beta test the systems prior to launch.


I don't want to dog the IP they made up for this game, but it's kind of stupid. Really who is going to enjoy a game about old people and books? You sit in a prison reading books until you die of old age... I'm not buying it.


The game sucks and I pre-ordered the most expensive option to prove how much it sucks. Spending that kind of money entitles me to that opinion. I might even buy 2 copies so I can dress the statues up and play with them in the bath. I'm sure Darth Vader and GI Joe won't mind the company.

The facts are laid out before you. I'd greatly advise against reading anybody else's impressions. They are just all convoluted fanboys or uninformed haters. I've given you concrete facts gathered from 1 beta weekend where I spent 3 days eating several hotdogs at a time trying to leave the prison. I'd say don't buy the game, but you should buy the game. The worst thing in the world is to not experience anything that could make you upset or happy. It's just stupid not understanding the feeling of getting in a game and not understanding what to do. You have to see it for yourself to not understand.

1 comment:

  1. This is honestly the most retarded troll attempt I've ever seen. I feel like you're secretly worshiping the game when in reality, it blows cock.