As I sat in the sperm bank yesterday hitched up to the Man-Nip-U-Later watching an old man dig out a sloppy hole with a plastic cup and I thought, I need quality content not a convoluted hot mess!
Later that day I walked by the OB/GYN, tripped in a pot hole and fell face first on a moist, hot bun at the hotdog vendors cart and thought, there are billions of black holes out there waiting to suck an unsuspecting man in. It's scary to think how many blog posts I've done that have holes in them.
It's weird how life sends you signals when you least expect them. Just like last week when I was eating a bunch of crap food watching some construction workers lining up at the port-a-potty during break time. Some where physically distressed and were on the verge of shitting their pants when I thought to myself, the world is a shitty place at times. One moment we feel fine, the next we're watching an old man digging up turds with a Dixie cup.
I'm almost 40 and that means I need to get my prostate checked next year. I wonder what the doctor is the king when he shoves a finger in my ass? Oh gawd, I didn't clip my fingernails today. If my glove breaks I'm going to have to dig shit out of it over my lunch. I thought I could push out 300 blog posts this year, but right now I'm about 30 behind. I need to push more content out. I don't want it to be crap though. I guess it's ok to get behind.
I think after I leave the sperm bank I'll go to the donut shop. I haven't had a good Boston Cream donut in a long time. I imagine some guy has made himself happy in the filling at one time or another. I just hope it's not the best donut I've ever had. Sometimes I think about it and tell myself, if I hit a hot pocket I'll switch to red jelly and hope women don't fill those.
My whole thought process has gotten out of hand in this post. I'm left with a half empty bottle of Jergens and a used tissue. I can't think of anything remotely good today. I'm sure as I leave the depository I'll think of something mind blowing... or not.