Wildstar Subscription Numbers Overwhelming!

Today Carbine Studios announce they are having an overwhelming amount of subscribers catastrophically bottlenecking their system. They're quickly implementing a system to help players play and not feel stressed out. Here is a forum quote:

"WTF! I woke up this morning to play and I couldn't! This is bullshit! I then checked my bank account and I haven't been charged yet! I was bullshit! Quickly I threw money and cat feces at my monitor! Catshit! "

Later when server Master Server-Guru Cougar announced:

"Sorry for the inconvenience, we've implemented a fix to get players in the game while our payment server is cleaned of cat shit. Please people, stop throwing cat shit at your monitors. Our system takes all major credit cards, PayPal, prepaid cards, and blood donations, but we're not accepting hot, steamy, cat shit at this moment. Oh and we don't accept Bitcoin, cat shit has more value. Thank you for your patience and feel free to save cat shit for a later date. "

So, there you have it. At this point I'm one of the many that hasn't been charged for my year subscription and I have cat droppings all over my computer. Just so you know, jamming crap into your CPU fan does not work either. Who knew? Unfortunately, I need a new motherboard and my carpets cleaned. I didn't know that when shit hits the fan, it will spray back at me. I should've called Tim Howard before I freaked out; he could've saved me!