Tuesday, December 31, 2013

WoW I'm Naked!

For the past 9 Years I've been playing World of Warcraft. Over those years I've quit,  resubbed, quit again, and resubbed again.  At times I feel angry I'm caught in the grasp of Blizzard and can't get out. I want to play because it's fun,  but I don't want to because it's not cool to play WoW. I'm torn between what my heart wants and what my head demands.

One faithful day sitting at my computer naked I finally decided what is best for me.

I found myself talking to my genitals looking for their wisdom to guide me in my times of depressed,  flaccid,  floundering. On one ball I should tickle my fancy and play WoW until I shoot out gobs of glee. On the other,  dark and vainy side covered with fresh gray hairs,  I should grow the fuck up and only play the man-deer games. It was a hard choice I had to make.

For a good hour or so I smacked around my possibilities,  going back and forth,  up and down, trying to decide the best course of action in my life. First thing I needed to do was delete the cookies off my computer. Then,  I could really focus on why I felt so bad about a silly game.

I looked down at my naked body again trying to figure out what was wrong with me and why I had a pencil poking out of my belly button. That's is when it dawned on me...

My wife never really cares when I sit down at the computer naked and I play games,  but when I'm eating dinner at the table naked she dislikes that. I just think she doesn't like me putting whipped cream on my nipple while I'm enjoying deep-dish cherry pie.  Cherry pie is only delicious deep. The deeper you go the wetter the cherries.  Man,  they're moist!

WoW is my naked body, I thought to myself.

It's is sexy as hell when I'm playing with it privately,  but when I run around the neighborhood screaming with my bare naked ass reflecting the sun yelling,  "FOR THE WHORE... DA!"  it's just creepy and it's bound to get me arrested, again. I now know how wrong it is to play WoW and tell people you play it. 

I've finally learned my lesson with WoW. When asked if I play it I just smile and say,  "Nope!"

Then,  later at night I can eat my dinner with a huge smile one my face because I know wearing socks is not naked.


  1. Yay! I can comment on your stuff! (for now)

  2. You are truly bizarre... and I love you for it :) What does it say that you enjoy your "naked body" in my presence? :P

  3. Here's the thing about blogging, it's like a nude beach...you can scream your naked...and no one cares. Actually we'll like you more for it.