The Extinction of Empathy

The other day we heard about the president of Carbine Studios, Jeremy Gaffney stepping down. We all know Carbine just released the subscription based MMORPG Wildstar. Jeremy has been fighting a deadly skin cancer for a long time. His family has had several members die of cancer. To help Wildstar release smoothly, Gaffney sacrificed himself for the game, company, fans, and his own personal reasons I can't understand. He helped keep continuity in the company during its most difficult time knowing that sacrifice could kill him. After the game released and it had several updates, he finally had time to take a breath and look at his own life. He stepped down to live another day.

Some of the gaming community saw this as the death of Wildstar. They "knew"  this was going to happen and they "know"  the next step for the game, death. Possibly the game is doing bad. Maybe, one of the reasons he stepped down was because of the stress of the game failing. No matter what the all his reasons were, he has cancer. He has a deadly disease that could kill him. For the rest of his life he has to try to live longer in fear of cancer. Fuck the game! His life is more important than a game. He is a living breathing human that had the compassion enough to chip away at his life day by day to produce a fun game for the world. Unfortunately, some people lack the empathy to realize his sacrifice. It's sad.

This is nothing new though. The lack of empathy in some is the cancer of humanity and the Internet is the harmful UV rays magnifying it. It's always been there, it's just mutating the rest of us faster and faster until we all die inside. It's spreading fast and we're not getting treatment for it. What can we do though? Am I going to try to cure the lack of empathy in the world? I don't know how and it's too bad for me to do it. Like Jeremy, I'm not going to give up fighting for what is right. I will not let humanity's cancer kill me. I've fought this my whole life and I'm not going to stop now. I'll tell you my story no matter how personal it is, I need to help others understand why I have unwavering empathy.

I grew up with the blood of other people on my hands. I don't know how many times my fist smashed into another kids face. I don't know how many kids I kicked in the gut with anger. I was constantly at war growing up because my mother was a lesbian. Nowadays gay people are more accepted, but back in the 70's and 80's it was not. Luckily, genetically I'm not to be fucked with. Not to mention my father grew up in Brooklyn in the 50's. A white boy in Brooklyn had to fight to survive.

After awhile, word got around I wasn't an easy target and it probably wasn't a good idea to pick on me. By 9th grade I didn't have to fight anymore. Well accept smashing a yard stick over another kid's face in English class when I was in 10th grade. The main reason I fought so much was the lack of empathy kids had towards my family. Their church going family couldn't fathom a sinning, happy family. Even though we tried to go to church and we're asked to leave, we still held tightly on the teachings of the Bible. We knew the real meaning was empathy, compassion, and live towards all living things.

The sad thing is, we kill each other over the same thing written by someone else. The Bible, the Tanakh, the Quran, the Pali Canon or Chinese Tripitaka, are all books teaching  people religion to teach them how to be compassionate, loving, and how to be empathetic towards others. They're all connected, but still we kill over their words. We have lost their meaning for our own pride and our own ideas. We constantly strive to be the right ones and force others to believe what we believe or we will burn in hell. My mother is going to burn in hell from the hate of what people think the Bible tells them. It tells them to judge, force, kill, rule, and spread like a cancer until we are all dead to live happy the way we want to.

Over the years I've been proven wrong. I've fought with "Bible bashers"  over living life happy in the words of God. I'm done fighting because I accept theirs and my own lack of empathy. I grew up fighting to save my mother from hell so when she dies and I die, we can be together as a family. I've chosen to go to hell with her because I love her. I've chosen to listen to what people say and have empathy and compassion for them. I radiate love to strangers in hope I can push back the disease that's spreading through humanity.

We've lost the true meaning of what it is to live life happy and understand why other people feel the way they do. Just look at Ferguson Missouri. A black boy was shot by a police officer and his body sat rotting in the sun for 4 hours while the people protecting and serving the community thinking they were doing the right thing by the law, lost their compassion and were blind as to doing the right thing as a loving human. What if it was their boy laying dead on the pavement? The police believed they were doing the right thing based on their Bible of laws. They still do. We've all forgotten how to do the right thing without laws or God telling us what to do.

No matter how or why, humans were given empathy, compassion, love, self awareness, egos, and a way to over think every damn thing. Sooner or later we're going to kill ourselves and become extinct like the other animals we killed off over the years doing what we thought was right.

Yesterday when I ranted about this I wanted to do something I have no idea how to do or start. How do I instill empathy into other people? How do I cure this cancer that is spreading? They say, "do not feed the trolls". That is correct you don't want to help the disease spread, but we need to cure it because it spreads no matter what. I was told,  "you first". Like growing up, I'm not afraid to get blood on my hands. I don't want to beat the shit out of anybody, but when it comes to doing what's right, I will stand my ground and fight.

This probably won't change anything, but I have to try. I'm sick of seeing people say horrible things. "Well, don't read it!"  Yeah, I could lock myself in the closet like my mother had to do for 30 years, but that will only hurt me by being ignorant. I need to read about things like Robin Williams' death even though some of the comments on articles seam like they came from robotic serial killers. I man devoted his life to making people laugh and sacrificed his own happiness by bottling up his depression until it killed him. He knew their was no hope in making people laugh anymore. We judge people with depression, anxiety, or mental illness like evil sinners. We lock them in the closet like the gays until they die. All because it's too hard to have a little empathy.

I will fight this hate not based on a book written thousands of years ago, but with my own love and compassion. My common sense. Everyday I'm surrounded by hateful people hiding behind books preaching what is right. They openly say,  "gay people are like sterile cattle, you just need to put a bullet in their head and burn their bodies because the meat is worthless too. They're a waste of life with no purpose... Praise God Amen!"

I've heard this and had to put my hands in my pockets and think of where they were coming from. To me they were wrong. They misunderstand the teachings of the books. I have to think I'm wrong too. I have to accept I'm going to hell. I have to have empathy towards them even if I don't want to. I understand them and I don't hate them for thinking that way. It's hard on me, but I have to stand strong for what I think humanity should be like with these gifts we've been give.

In closing I want to say thank you to you all for reading this. I want to thank Jeremy Gaffney for staying strong and helping make Wildstar. I only wish the best for the game even though I've stopped playing it for now. I know it's hard to read those bad comments, but their are great people in the world that can help push humanities cancer back into remission. Please take the time to have a little empathy, compassion, and love towards others. That is the only cure.

Being an Amazing D&D Dungeon Master and Dominatrix

Its hard being a woman gamer and a dominating figure in the bedroom. Two things that go hand in hand are fantasy role playing games and role playing in the bedroom.

At first I thought of this as a funny sarcastic post, but the more and more I thought about it, it became a serious topic people should know about and explore. Both things complement each other greatly and could be invigorating for a woman or her partner. First I need to explain what a Dominatrix is to debunk any myths or childish misgivings.

By definition a Dominatrix is:

"A Dominatrix (plural Dominatrixes orDominatrices) or Mistress is a woman who takes the dominant role in bondage, discipline(in the sexual-fetish sense of the word) andsadomasochism, or BDSM.

The capitalization of the first letter of Dominatrix is a formal convention used to convey respect and authority, and common forms of address for a submissive to a Dominatrix are "Mistress", "Maîtresse", "Herrin", and "Lady".

A Dominatrix might be heterosexual,homosexual, or bisexual; but her orientation does not necessarily limit the genders of her submissive partners. The role of a Dominatrix may not even involve physical pain toward the submissive; her domination can be verbal, involving humiliating tasks, or servitude. A Dominatrix may be a paid professional ("pro-Domme"), or may use the title of Dominatrix in her personal sex life"

You see a Dominatrix is finely skilled in the art of the sexual fantasy world. At no point is a Dominatrix out to hurt her submissive beyond their desired limits. They need to be in tune with people and focused on their role at all times. If they loose sight of their role and not plan ahead, they could hurt someone or piss them off. This is exactly the role of a D&D Dungeon Master.

For starters, a highly skilled Dungeon Master is hard to come by and a woman DM is even rarer. As with the role of a Dominatrix, a DM needs to know when to hit their players hard, when to play softly and when to reward them for their efforts. No matter if they have a 20 sided dice or a riding crop, they need to focus on their sense of people awareness. Reading people by their body language makes an amazing DM and Dominatrix.

In my opinion, a woman is more sensitive to body language, hence why more females are sought after as a dominating figure in BDSM acts. Most people think only men do these "gross"  things because they have "issues". Right there is an ignorant way of thinking. How many people think women don't game? As we've seen with a recent poll, more and more adult women are gamers. Our society is slowly breaking out of the stereotypical family roles and giving people freedom to do what makes them happy. Understanding BDSM as a fun way of releasing stress or sexual desires is not a bad thing. It's only bad when the person in the dominating role is bad at it and ignorant of their role. That goes for anything we do in life not just role playing.

I'm not an expert on either of the subjects, I only had an idea. Yes, my idea started out childish, but the more and more I read about both roles I understood how great they both were and how much skill it takes to be great at them. Not only that,  but how a woman is normally seen in a submissive role, just a player. But when a woman takes charge, it can be an exhilarating experience for both role playing experiences. The key for any man or woman doing either is to forget about who they are and feel what the other people are feeling. Pay attention to them and lose yourself in their moment. That's they key to being in a dominant position.

Lizard Squad Hackers Could Face Death Penalty

Last night I watched Dredd, Robocop, and The Amazing Animal Planet all at the same time. It got me thinking (pause for audience to realize that will never happen) about a future with Lizard people and strict justice. I fear a squad of elite lizard hackers would be sentenced to death if they were caught. As funny as it seems, cutting the heads off lizards is cruel. You can chop their tails off, but luckily it will grow back, not their heads. Why would you even cut a lizard head off? What kind of sick bastard are you? Let me tell you a story about my childhood...

When I was a new teenager around 11 or 15, I was confronted by a machine with human skin on. Years earlier I told the cops my mother was nuts because she said she had sex with Marty McFly. Marty was from the past,  but the future of the past future. He warned her of the coming apocalypse. Then he tried to have sex with his own mother. It's very confusing, but bear with me on the rug of imagination.

This man told me he was a Timecop and he could stretch his legs flat out on moving vehicles. Only his nut sack held his legs from ripping in two. He sat me down and adjusted his droopy balls out of the way so he didn't crush them and said to me,  "Son, V has come.  Not V as in vendetta, but V as in lizard people gonna take over your vagina or vasectomy."

I just stared at him for hours wondering which one I had. I was dumbfounded and perplexed at the idea of having a vagina with a vasectomy. It all sounded interesting. Unfortunately, his plan wasn't to try it with me. First, he wanted to remove the skin from his arm and yell, "Number 5 is alive!"

I was getting a little antsy and felt number 2 coming to life.  I needed to know who he worked for and how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie Pop, 1...2...3...flush!

In the news paper I read while taking a break I noticed the rise in lizard people sightings. I knew then we were all doomed if The Amazing Spiderman couldn't win the fight. Sadly in the second movie his girlfriend dies and he gets snot all over the inside of his mask. I wonder how often he washes that? I know he's superhuman, but everyday he must get spit condensation on on the inside of it. It's kind of gross.

Anyways, I talked to John at lengths last night at the airport. He told me about last Christmas and yelled, "Yippee Ki Yay motherfucker" several times in my ears. I don't think anybody told him about the lizard problems in his pool at home yet. When he gets home and notices Gizmo got out and fell in, he's going to be pissed.

The movie Hackers was stupid!

Warlords of Draenor's Fatal Flaw Could Lose WoW Millions of People!

Yesterday,I played WoW for several hours and revisited my past ideas about gaming in the future. That's when I remembered how Warlords of Draenor could be the end of gaming as we know it. How this expansion will be the nail in the MMO coffin. A coffin not laced with soft silk or leather that helps rotting flesh turn into gelatin ooze, but a coffin made of cold hard steel... Filled with maggots and your dead body laced in sugar. Your toes might even be dipped in chocolate sauce with popsicle sticks jammed in between your toe and toenails so the maggots can have dessert on a stick. That's how revolting WoD is.

Last night while I was asleep, I had an out of body experience. For several minutes I tried to whisper in my own ear to roll over to get off my pee boner. Not only was I crushing my penis, I was lowering my sperms count with the extra heat my man-hammer was producing. All that extra blood increases the area temperature exponentially. If my wife happened to trip and fall on my cock in the middle of the night I would only ejaculate empty life the first time. Only after icing my balls and waiting for the reservoirs to fill up again, could I fulfill the purpose of manhood properly.

I must have heard my mental pleas because my soulless body flipped over and my boner catapulted the cat off the bed. Don't worry, the pussy wasn't hurt. Without hesitation, my soul hesitated before leaving the bedroom. As I left the bedroom and headed towards the computer room, I had an a revelation or a moment of salvation. Maybe it was a slight fungus irritation. No matter what it was, I felt like I was in touch with all of creation. I knew then I could finally play WoD without speculation and reservation.

I slowly sat down at my spectral computer and started to play WoD for the first time ever. Quickly the game's largest flaw jumped out at me and scared a little pee out of my body in the other room. I stared at the screen for hours and hours trying to comprehend what I just saw. I was flabbergasted Blizzard would do such a thing. After 10 years of having a highly successful MMO they were going to ruin it all in less than a day after release.

To try to help Blizzard out of dooming themselves, I submitted a bug report with the title: "IMPORTANT! YOU'RE SERIOUSLY GOING TO FUCK UP YOUR GAME UP WITH THIS! YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME! ARE YOU LISTENING? THIS IS BATSHIT CRAZY!"

I waited hours or seconds to get a reply. Unfortunately, nothing came. My heart sunk and fake tears rolled down my imaginary cheeks. I knew then WoW is coming to an end. The apocalypse of gaming will come on November 13th 2014! I'm warning you all because I want you prepared. I need you to gather supplies now before it's too late. Don't forget the toilet paper and spiced rum. The second that rum hits your large intestines you're going to need that TP to catch the hot magma out your ass. Oh, and get hand sanitizer and air freshener spray.

My alarm went off and my soul slapped back in my body faster than the cat ran away from its late night penispulting. Without hesitation I wrote this blog post several hours later to warn you all. I'm warning you! When WoD releases you'll have to be ready. I suggest logging into WoW now and making a Horde character on Earthen Ring. After you do that, play with me! I'm a bit lonely and I would like company. Look up Scarybooster please. I love you!

Blaugust 9th: Compact Penis

Sometimes it's hard...

In high school the locker room was a place of self-judgment. Everybody was worried about their own privates. Do I just have a compact penis? If they ask, I'm a grower not a shower. Should I pull on it a bit to make it look bigger? Maybe I should glance at the competition? Is that gay? What if I get a boner? Is it big enough? I'm sure women have the same self-esteem issues in the locker room. They compare breasts sizes and labia. Sometimes they soap each other up and giggle. I'm sure of it.

Even though we leave the locker room behind as we leave school, we never leave the self-esteem issues behind. We might not worry so much about our genitals as we grow older, but we still fret over being good enough. Social networks are always pitting us against each other to see who has the biggest epeen. As an MMO gamer and a social condor, I'm always flashing my balls to the Internet. Good thing I'm older and they droop a lot more. They're like a half full burlap sack of potatoes.

Games are my penis on the Internet. I always want my game of choice to be big enough and popular. I want others to look out of the corner of their eyes and admire my game. I want them to play it too. Together we can have a fun orgy playing a game I love. Trust me, I get all sweaty when I get on VOIP.

The problem is, I worry if nobody wants to play with me. I want to be surrounded by the varsity cheerleaders stroking my ego. When they start getting bored of my game of choice I worry I've become flaccid and blew my wad of fun. That's when I frantically start jerking around different games hoping to be pleasured once again. This is when I become creepy and start running after the cheerleaders stroking my ego yelling,  "play with me! Don't leave me! Watch me! I'm a grower, not a shower!"

Sooner or later I find myself all alone in the locker room with my dick in my hand and my towel on the floor. Nobody wants to play with me. I have a choice to either, play with myself or put some damn pants on and grow up like everybody else. Unfortunately, pants constrict the baby factory.  There's a time when we all need to leave the locker room and not care, even if we're feeling naked and insecure about ourselves. There is a time to move on and not worry what other people think of us. It's hard, but letting go a bit will open more opportunities to meet people without worrying about our penis.

... being an MMO gamer and social butterfly.

Blaugust 7th: I'm Special!

I never liked Final Fantasy. I bought FFXIV on a Steam sale. I played FFXIV for a week out of the 30 days and got to level 7. I didn't enjoy it. I was by myself. I felt lonely. I have cats. I want a dog.

Today I subscribed to FFXIV. I planned on subscribing to WoW. I don't know what happened. I don't want to play WoW. I feel I need to get my money's worth out of FFXIV. I'm going to try FFXIV. I'm not sure why. I like this blog post.

I think people think I'm nuts. I think you think I'm nuts. I'm not sure why I switch games. I still play DCUO. I still play Firefall. I still play with myself. I am special. I am a gamer.

I feel bad. I want to apologize. I feel crazy. I don't understand. I'm compulsive. I like games. I'm am adult. I love boobies. I can blog.

Blaugust 6th: Letting River Rest in Peace

Ever since River died I’ve been holding on to the things he loved most in his internet life. I’ve visited his blog weekly. I’ve thought about starting a character named after his character in Wow. I’ve thought of all kinds of ways to keep his memory alive. I don’t think he would appreciated it.

A couple weeks ago a co-worker died at work. He was as young as River and it was just as unexpected. As the days went on we told stories about him and there was a small memorial placed where he sat. Not being a big friend of the guy, I thought the memorial was a bit overkill and people needed to let go. Then, I thought about River and how I’ve been acting. I’m no better.

Recently, I thought about going back to WoW, actually I am going back to WoW because it won the poll. I thought it would be really cool to start a character in memory of River. No better than the silly memorial they have at work. Why would I play a game, River thought was fun for almost 10 years of his life just to ruin it by taking the fun out of the game? If I made a character named River I would have to look at the name every day I logged in and think about him being dead. I don’t think River would like that.  I need to play WoW for me and have the fun I want to. If I want to remember River properly, it should be by having fun. He is already immortalized in WoW by all the people he touched over a decade and all the people he pissed off. To me, that sounds a lot better. I truly can’t be the dick he was and love WoW as much as he did. I will play the game for me so I can have my own memories. There is no need for a memorial in his name.

That brings me to WoW and why I’m playing again. The poll showed WoW and Archeage tied in the end. I choose WoW because it is cheaper to get into and I know my time will be split between WoW, DCUO, and Warframe. Come September, I will be juggling Destiny. I’m not playing Wow because several of my other friends started playing again or because a new expansion is coming out; I’m playing it because it has always been a relaxing game to me. Every time I find myself floundering between MMOs, WoW is there to scratch the itch I’ve been having.

That doesn’t mean I’m done with other MMOs. I want to go back to Wildstar at some point, but right now I don’t have the “want to” feeling. I want to play DCUO and WoW right now. I thought I wanted to play FFXIV, but every time I want to play that game I remember how much I’d rather play WoW instead. Why play it if it’s just going to make me want to play WoW? Might as well get right to the roots and start there to watch my want grow. Of course sooner or later my want will die off and I’ll pollinate elsewhere.

The 10th Anniversary to WoW is coming and I’ve always said I want to be there for it because of the memories I have with the game. They are my memories and I wouldn’t want somebody posing as me to try to remember me in their own way. I would appreciate the thought, but play your own fucking game and have your own damn fun! This is your life enjoy it while you have it, because tomorrow you might not.

River would appreciate that more!

Blaugust 5th: Crazy For You!

Every time I boot up Twitch I think about why I stream. Why am I doing this? Why would anybody watch me? What can I do to make my stream more interesting? How can I make my stream more professional looking? I don’t want to make money streaming or get millions of viewers, I just want people that watch me to really enjoy the entertainment I’m giving them.

As I wrote yesterday, I would like to stream a game of my readers’ choice for 30 days. I never required them to watch the stream or read my blog, just vote for the fun of it. I’m an MMO gamer and a lot of the fun in playing MMOs is interacting with people.  A lot of the bad crap that goes on is interacting with people too. You can half glass it however you see fit. I prefer the glass has liquid to drink. Depending on the people at that time, the liquid can taste great or be some nasty sewage.

I’m really enjoying Blaugust because it brings out the good in the community. Like Belghast said in his post today, it’s not about cramming in posts everyday just to win a contest; it’s about learning the joys of writing on a schedule. It’s personally rewarding for me to write and stream. I love them both because it gives me a chance to express myself in ways real life won’t allow. Well, it will allow if I want to be put in a loony bin. I like to entertain and have fun in different ways, Blaugust gives me the chance to find a way in my schedule to take more time out to do the things I love. Just like finding time every morning at 5am to work out, I need to find my perfect time to set aside time to work out my creative side. This community project is helping that. Not to mention I’m finding more and more blogs every day that I enjoy reading. I’ve even discovered blogs that didn’t do the NBI. That in itself makes Blaugust a success.

So what is my point in streaming a game I want you to vote on, but I don’t care if you watch? Streaming is a way I can verbally express myself and hone my speaking skills. I’m not a bad speaker, but I love practicing and expelling my thoughts in an open forum like streaming. I’ve had people leave my streaming channel disgusted I didn’t talk about serious matters while I’m streaming. My stream is fueled by games, but the power under the hood is my ramblings. Until people give me any type of feedback, I will always have brain diarrhea on my streams. My blog is the same way. You either love the way I do things or you hate it. I have several good blogging friends that do not read me because they do not like my style; I’m ok with that and I never hold it against them. I love that they are honest with me and can tell me they do not read me, but they like who I am as a person.

No matter what you should vote on the game I should play. It’s all in good fun even if you don’t give a crap.

Blaugust 4th: Faffing

Because Belghast invented Blaugust, I decided to use his word of choice when he just feels like random gaming. For the next 30 days I want my readers to decided what game I play and stream for 30 days. I slapped a poll up on my blog's side bar you can vote on. If you do not see an MMO on there that you want to see, just add it in the comments and I'll add it to the poll.

Right now I am enjoying playing DCUO and this week I start a new podcast with Sitting on a Couch & MMORPG.com for Firefall. I love all MMOs and I love the MMO community, so I would like to play a game for fun people might be interested in. If I get enough people interested and liking my streams/posts, I might refresh the poll every month to shake things up. Of course to be fair, I will remove the last game played so I get a bit of variety.

 For the sake of a great community project like Blaugust, please take the time to vote in my poll. In 6 days I will start playing that game for you. I'll stream it and write blog posts about my adventures. It will also give me content for Blaugust. I really don't care what game I play because I know I'll have fun doing it. Thanks for your support and please watch and follow me at Twitch for my awesome streams.I swear, you will not watch another streamer like me.

Vote NOW!!!

PS... If you know anybody that does web or avatar art please contact me!

Blaugust Day 2: Being Unpopular

This post is going to be short because it's hard for me to post on the weekends. I'm trying though to support a friend with his great idea. It's great doing great things even if it might not be the popular thing to do. It's never popular on the Internet to do something positive. It seems the Internet thrives on the popular and not what is right and what is fun. I've become one of the unpopular guys because I'm not playing the FoTM game. Even though I've been riding the adrenaline high of the speeding beta trains coming out over the past 6 years, it's time for me to get off and enjoy myself. Even if it means all by myself.

The last month I've been playing DC Universe Online. It's not an amazing game, but it is super fun to me. It let's me get in and learn about superheroes. I'm not a comic book fan so I don't know a lot of these stories. The game is like my comic book in motion. I'm having a lot of fun even though I'm not playing with anybody. Yeah I'm in a small, wonderful guild, but most of the time it's only 2 or 3 of us online at a time.

I finally made it to level 30.it only took me 22 days to do. I'm not a hard core player either. A guy in our guild made it from 1-30 in 3 days. Once you hit 30 a bunch of really cool story arches open up. Surprisingly, the grouping in the game is painless and super fast. As a DPS it only took me 20 sec to find a 4 person group.

So, even though I'm playing an unpopular game and streaming my fun every night, I really don't care like I used to. I used to worry if someone was reading my words or if anybody was going to play with me. I feel a lot of the problem with my game hoping was my fault of depending on other people to have fun. I quit playing some really awesome games because others left after 30 days. Wildstar is one of those games. I love that game and I plan on going back to it very soon. When I do I'm going to play by myself, for myself. I won't depend on other people to help me make fun. The best thing DCUO had taught me is to have fun by myself.

Of course I wish all my Internet buddies played DCUO, but I think I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much with them there. I think I would've worried about what they thought and if they were going to play with me. I'm glad they haven't taken interest in it so I could find my own way. I had time to find my gaming voice like my blog voice. It's my style and I need to do what makes me feel happy no matter what everybody else is saying or doing. I might be an unpopular blogger with a wacky style playing an unpopular game, but damn I'm having a great time doing it.

#Blaugusting

Right now my work schedule is nuts! I'm still going to try to do a post every day this month, even on my birthday. Yeah, August is the month my mother jettisoned me out of her ladies bits. This year I turn 40 and I realize I can die any minute now. You might want to worry if I don't post everyday this month. You never know, I could just stop being any second now. If you're not reading this right now that means I died before I even posted it. Are you reading this? Did I make it to the next paragraph?

Luckily, I made it this far. I pressed the space bar, felt a bit light-headed, and continued with: Luckily, I made it this far. I pressed the space bar, felt a bit light-headed, and continued with: Luckily, I made it this far. I pressed the space bar, felt a bit light-headed, and continued with: Luckily, I made it this far. I pressed the space bar, felt a bit light-headed, and continued with:

Wow, a whole paragraph of me repeating myself. Old people do that a lot. I fear my lawn is becoming more important to me and stairs are a challenge not a place to play Hot Wheels.  It's getting harder and harder to stay positive about things and take time to have fun.

People around me are dying left and right. My best blogger friend, River died recently at the age of 42.a guy at work just died from a heart attack at age 46. In the early 1960's the average age was 35 for adults. I don't know about you, but I'm a bit worried I could die soon. I always thought as a kid I would only survive to age 42. I have 2 more years left on this earth according to my math. I'm good at math too. If you haven't noticed yet, I'm a bit of a genius. In the 1960's I would've been considered a Greek God of sorts.

When I turn 40 this month I might inject myself with gamma rays or replace my blood with nanobots. I feel if I live forever, I could save humanity from itself. What do you think? Should I tap into eternal life and rule the Internet?

Talking about the Internet I plan on ruling, Belghast has a really awesome idea for community orginess. I always try to help build friendships over the Internet with cool tasks like this. I never know, one of you could be carrying my casket to my final resting place next week, month, year, second.. It's ok to cry.

So, I'm extremely busy this month. I'm going to try to blog everyday even if it kills me. I might have to make toast while I'm in the bathtub or tweak lighting rods on a cell tower on the Perfect Storm, but I will try my damnest to post everyday this month. Just to prove I'm better than you. It's ok to envy me. I have a large penis and hot wife too. I can feel you now lusting. Bring the sins to me.

If I haven't been taking from this world in the month I came into this world, expect me to post everyday. You've been warned!