Dear River

Dear River,

I'm gonna miss you bud! I might not have ever set foot in your house, but you will always stay in my heart.

For over a half of a decade you've made my life better. I always looked forward to chatting with you over Twitter or blog post comments. From the first day I started reading your blog and talking with you, I knew you were going to be a great friend. Talking with you always made me smile.

I'm sad that you're gone. I can't even imagine how your family and real friends feel. You made me a better person from afar, I'm sure the ones close to you feel the same. You were a social butterfly and a person people could look up to. Unfortunately for me, I only new a fragment of who you were.

I spent hours reading all the posts about you on Facebook to try to get to know a part of you I'll never have the privilege of knowing. You seriously lived your life to the fullest and made other happy in the process. You brought a lot of smiles to a lot of people. I'm sure if your friends forget to smile all they'll need to do is think of you to smile again. You were a great man and you'll be dearly missed.

I wanted to tell you I'm sorry. Over the years we've talk we always wanted to do a podcast together. I regret not finding the time to do The Donkey Show with you. What makes it worse is, I finally did a podcast with you and I neglected to find the time to edit and post it before you passed away. I feel horrible about it. All those years planning to do a podcast together and I fail at making our dream a reality for you. I'm deeply sorry.

I haven't had the heart yet to finish editing it. I want to post it so people can hear how passionate you were about games, but I need time before I can do it. I promise you, I will post it for you. I know you worried about sounding stupid on it and wished you were funnier, but trust me, you did awesome. You were passionate on the podcast and that is all that matters. When people listen to it they'll be able to connect with you through your passion. I know I did.

One of your blogger idles started a meme of sorts in honor of you. Syp suggested we all post half naked women on our blogs in honor of you. It was a great idea even though he wussed out and put a picture of a dog up. I guess some people don't understand why you actually did that. It wasn't the women, it was the love of life and bringing smiles to people's faces. Shit, you even posted 1/2 naked men on your blog for the same reason. I understand you and that is why we got a long so well. You knew that life was about living it the way you wanted and not being a stick in the mud.

You know after seeing the 100's of pictures of you on Facebook, I discovered I was a wuss too. I don't have the balls to live my life as much as you did. You showed people like me how to live and made us all smile while you were living for us. I envy you a lot for it. I look at you an wish I was more like you. I'm sure a lot of your real friends and family feel the same as I do. You were free to enjoy life. By all the pictures and stories about you, you lived the way life should be lived. You were and still are, a role model to me. I see I should be more like you and relax to live life to its fullest.

I want to end this post by saying thank you. Thank you for being my friend. Thank you for encouraging me through the years to keep blogging. Thank you for making me laugh and smile. Thank you for chatting with me. Thank you for not changing who you are. You were an amazing man and looked pretty good as a woman too. I'll miss you bud, but I won't stop smiling because I'll always remember you.