Car Shopping

I spent all weekend looking for the prefect damn car and all I found was the shear amount of cars I couldn't get. Car shopping is a massive headache, but I enjoy looking at them. My favorite part is going on the Internet and researching all the different types out there and what is available to me.

At the beginning of the weekend I just mindlessly drove around window shopping. Every once and awhile I would pop my head into a dealership and look around, but nothing too serious. By the end of the weekend I was deep in websites and I had an efficient route planned out. Even though I got serious about buying a new car, I'm still riding around in my trusty old steed this morning.

I know all my readers don't come here for super serious tips on car shopping,  so to bore the piss out of you, I'll make it brief. This is a basic rundown of my weekend journey.  You can easily use it in your area for any vehicle you want. It doesn't have to be exactly the way I did it or the cars I want.

1. Toyota Raven

This was the first car I looked at. I figured I needed a bit more room so I wanted a mini-SUV. Once a day I visited my local dealership to see if they had this beautiful baby in. Unfortunately, every time I went to Seth Sethekk Auto Halls, they were all out of it. It really pisses me off because this car is way below my price range and I could easily afford it. Just my luck though, the truck  never drops it off.

I'll tell you how simple it is for me to get this:

A. I take a quick transport from Vale Street to the Shat Rail station.

B. From there I get on a bus to the Army Stronghold.

C. I take the airport shuttle to the Auchindoun Event Center. It's usually busy there with concerts and stuff. This weekend Katy Perry was playing. I love her new song Dark Horse.

D. It's just a quick walk from the event center to Seth's. I would take my car, but there are a lot of birds in the area and they shit on my car.

E. I walk into Seth's heroicly because there is this hot chick named Anzu that will only help me if I strut in like a badass. She is very beautiful and normally gives me some purple candies and coffee. She's also the one that can quickly tell me if there are any Raven's in stock.

All weekend I did this same ritual and every time no dice. I'll keep trying because it's a cheap car, even though it gets very tedious going there everyday. I would call, but their answering service has too many annoying voice commands that never work right. It's just easier to go there.

I went to to detail with Seth's because it's easy to explain and the rest are very similar rituals I go through to get to the other dealerships. I'm not going to bore you with every detail over and over. You can Google map it just as easy as I can. With that, here is a quick list of the other cars and locations in my area:

2. Pontiac Phoenix

This is an older car, but it's very beautiful especially with flames all over it. It sores down the highway in style. I only can stop here once a week because of their hours. I go to Tempest Automart Keepers. Their moto is: "We sell keepers that even tempt us! Onlycat Tempest!" Funny right? Fuck them! They never have the car in stock when I get there.

3. Dodge Deathcharger

"Come down to Baron Riverdale's just off the East Gate exit and get yourself the hot new Dodge Deathcharger! "... Fuck you! I've been going to your shithole for the past 9 years looking for a Deathcharger and each time you try to bend me over the counter talking horsepower and prices. Damn you to hell and your precious horses!

4. Honda Huolon

I really can't complain about this car or dealership, it's so new. I've only tried to get this car for the first time this weekend. The only place that stocks it is on an island. If time permits I stop by and wait for the trucks to come in ever hour or so. I want to get my hands on one of these babies because I heard they pack enough power to do some dragin'.

5. Tesla Triceratops

Funny thing about this car is it has 3 horns. I get a kick out of that every time. Get it, Triceratops... three horns *beep*, *honk*, *whaahogna*? Funny concept isn't it? This car is so new it's only sold in 5 locations and they're all in Chinatown. Yesterday was the first time I tried to get one, but only one sales associate would speak to me. The rest were sold out or had a huge waiting line. Luckily I was first in line at the Jade Forest dealership.

A friend and I sat down with the dealer and we went blow for blow on pricing. I fought hard for about 10 minutes. My friend got up several times to go to the bathroom to throw up. I really felt bad for him, but he insisted on coming to help me out. He did help a lot and I'm very grateful he came. I just feel sorry for him in his weak state.

My friend came back as fast as he could  to throw me some healing words before he felt like he was dying again. After beating up the dealer with financing, he gave me a couple coupons and told me they would get a new shipment in later... Asshole!

Even though I didn't get a new car this weekend I had a fun time shopping around. It was a bit frustrating when I thought for sure I was going to be driving away in a new vehicle, but getting out and discovering new places was just as rewarding. The old dealerships were even fun to visit again for nostalgic reasons. All in all I had a wonderful weekend car shopping.

Just always remember when you're out looking for a new car and it starts to feel very grindy, you'll feel like the journey was epic when you finally get in the new car. And it won't smell like stale farts.