Since August 17th of 2011, I've been following Wildstar. For some reason the game has clicked with me since that day. Sometimes you just know when you'll love something at first sight. Wildstar has been that game for me.
I want to be very serious in this post and put me heart out there for my readers. I want to start by apologizing to Carbine Studios and other fans of Wildstar.
As a silly blogger, I sometimes take things too far. I joke around and say horrible things about games just to get attention. I'm sorry. I feel I've alienate the whole Wildstar community and its developers with my asinine antics. I'm sorry. I can't apologize enough to explain how sorry I am to everybody. I'm sorry.
If you don't know, the time has come to pre-order Wildstar and my punishment for that is my real life getting in the way of me being able to buy the game or play it. As you can tell by the tone of this post, I'm very saddened by this. There are things happening in my life that does not make it possible for me to buy Wildstar the rest of this year. My family has fallen on hard times. Because I think it is inappropriate to talk about these things on my blog, I will not go into detail. I'm just very down about it right now. I feel if I was a better member of the community these things might not be happening. I'm truly sorry.
The good thing is, I got a chance to play Wildstar. It was like a dream come true when I got in beta. Because of the NDA and my unfortunate situation, I haven't had time to write this. For the longest time I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to say without being a downer. My feelings towards this game and its awesome members are even stronger now. After playing the game, it became harder for me to accept my fate. I brought this upon myself and I deserve it.
Anyways, I'd like to talk about the game.
The game is simply beautiful to me. From the art style to the humor, its beautiful. The time I spent in beta I couldn't get over how much I love the way the game looks. When I got a chance to play the Chua I was close to tears of joy playing with the emotes. Carbine did an amazing job with the animations. I spent hours doing emotes over and over; I even made my wife and kids watch me do them. They are seriously the best emotes in ANY game to date.
Like the graphics, this game was made for me. I loved the feel of the combat and Telegraphs. The whole feel of combat kept me engaged and excited. The only really complaint I had about the game was the UI and they're fixing that. I wish I could see the changes because I know it will not only make the screen look less bulky, it will enhance the combat. To me, the UI is a major factor in how the gameplay feels. The UI improvements will surely be a plus for the gameplay.
I'm sorry I don't have much else to say about the game. I'm feeling a bit depressed about my situation right now. I know it's just a game and there is no reason to get upset, but I've been looking forward to this game for so long. Just last month I had my money ready to buy this game. Like a giant bolder of death, life came crashing down on me. I had a hard decision to make and I have several more to make the rest of this year. Right now it's very scary and I need to play it safe with my money. There are just too many bad things rolling down that hill.
The good thing is, I have a bunch of great friends on the Internet for support. Sometimes these people are too good. There are occasions they've done stuff for me and other community members that make me love them all the more. I'd like to ask them one thing this time: please as much as you might want to make me feel better, don't. You've all done enough and I adore all of you. Please, this time, do not do those things you do to cheer me up. It will just make me feel really bad if you do, you know what. I'm not writing this for you all to prove you're my friends. I know you are.
The point of this post is to tell Carbine and the fans of Wildstar how much of a jerk I've been. I've gotten the taste of my own bad medicine this time. I thought with my "funny" posts I could lighten up the community by poking fun at how serious they get towards Wildstar. Obviously, this has all backfired on me. While they are enjoying Wildstar, I'll only get to watch them on Twitch or YouTube.
One last time I want to say I'm sorry. I feel very bad right now and the game I've been excited to play for the past 2+ years, I will have to wait another 6 months or more. There are bad decisions I've made in the past that are catching up with me and foreclosing on my home is one of them. I'll just need to suck it up and move on. Right now, a great video game to help relax me is the least of my worries. I've aligned my priorities and hopefully in the future things will look brighter.
I'm going to close the comments on this post because good or bad, comments will just make me feel worse.
To all my gaming friends: you're all the best! Just know this will never be talked about by me again. I needed to get this off my chest with Wildstar so close to release. Any post from now on will only be ponies with rainbow hooves. Love you guys! I know a video game shouldn't get me so down, but I was just looking so forward to this one. It's my own fault really.
Sorry for such a crappy post, I feel bad for hitting publish. I'm only doing it because I feel if I don't, it will haunt me. Only other writers will understand that. I doubt anybody from Carbine or fans of Wildstar will even read this, but it just makes me feel better to apologize. I'm sorry. I'd like to apologize to Syp too. Again, I doubt he reads me, but I feel bad for being a jerk to him. I'm sorry about the mistakes in this blog post too. I can't bring myself to look at it again and edit it.
That's all, sorry.